You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So many bounce houses so little time
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
