***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
