sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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