im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
