I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
