Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm always down for nudity.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
