just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
