so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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