i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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