You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The power of my boobs compel you
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
