I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
