And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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