just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
