she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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