"it" just moved
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
