Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
