ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
