yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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