All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
