Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
