when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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