maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She's like a pop up book from hell.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize