haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
