Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
