Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
