I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
