Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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