Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
