I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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