you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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