I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
