I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I can't turn off my feet"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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