Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
