I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize