What a fucking waste of an outfit
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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