I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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