I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
