I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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