I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
