I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize