so explain again why im purple
no
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
