watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
