are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
