I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
