And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
