Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
