you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
