even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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