Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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