dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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