$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
