Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
