I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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