I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
is it fun? or sober?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
