guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
