just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
