she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize