So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize