coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
