you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
In America we eat man semen.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
