i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
