Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just high enough for therapy.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
