what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
