I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
