do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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